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thick and thin

i'll be hailing from queens for the next few weeks...

with a wedding looming in july, vows have been on my mind lately.

people take vows of silence, doctors take something akin to a vow - the hippocratic oath;  we "vow" to do all sorts of things that align with our beliefs.

although it is not a traditional vow, the phrase "through thick and thin" comes to mind.   

thinking about it literally, it could refer to tolerating someone's variable state of mind.  i've been called "thick-headed" for my stubbornness, and "thin-headed" could mean being dim (guilty!)  i could accept being loved despite my stubborn, stupid ways...

when referring to how i looked in my younger, adolescent days, i've often used the word "thick".  it would be nice to know i will be loved no matter what my size - thick or thin...

"thick and thin" also brings weatherly thoughts to mind, and love that could outlast any kind, be it humid and stormy, or dry and sunshiney.

literally, the phrase "through thick and thin" dates back to 1662 and is even found in Chaucer's The Reeve's Tale:

"he begins to go
Toward the fen, where wild mares run
And forth with "wehee," through thick and through thin"

translated, according to the definition from the phrase finder, it means "through all forms of obstacle that are put in one's way".  

taken that way, to love someone "through thick and thin" is not an easy undertaking.  it requires trust, faith, and unconditional love - something hard to come by in this day and age.  it ensures that there will be trouble, but that not far behind, good days are certain to come.  

thinking about how high the divorce rate has risen (upwards of 50% depending on the number of marriages had), it makes me wonder whether people are willing to accept the thick with the thin anymore.  

to my sweetie, who i will hereby refer to as my music man (or MM), i promise to stick by you, and love you, through thick and through thin.  at times, it will seem impossible, and at others, effortless, but nonetheless, that is a solemn vow... 

                                                    image courtesy of www.lovescape.org

love letters from a royal place...continued

hello love,

so a few weeks ago, we met with Father Chris in preparation for our upcoming wedding, and he told us that from now on and forever, we are to work on our friendship.  i've been thinking about ways to do that.  after all, we did start out as friends - not best friends, but friends all the same.  i've recently been reading our old emails (i guess those count as love letters, these days) that we sent to each other in the early days of our relationship.  everything seemed magical, innocent, and undoubtedly special, as it still is.  as we have been dating for almost four years now, it goes without saying that our relationship has changed - not in a bad way; we have matured with each other, celebrated joys, and loved each other through painful times.  so that leaves the question: how do we work on our friendship?

not too long ago, i was recommended to read the NieNie Dialogues, a blog written by a woman named stephanie (nie) who celebrated the joys of marriage and motherhood.  unfortunately, nie and her husband christian were involved in a plane crash that left both with scars visible and invisible.  while stephanie's injuries were grave, she has kept up her blog and now writes about her daily journey back to the life she used to know.

it took me a few days to read her blog archives from beginning to end, but reading the story of her life and love has left me inspired to be a better person; to love better.  specifically, love you better.

i started this blog a few months ago with the hope of chronicling our journey to becoming husband and wife, but i'm hoping i can perhaps show you a piece of my heart that you've not seen.  writing has gotten away from me as teaching, directing, and other ways of living have gotten in the way.

i'm hoping that by showing you a different side of me, and by maybe writing about, well everything, perhaps we can become better friends.  i used to get so mad at you when you would call me "friend" - i used to say i didn't want to be your friend; i wanted to be more than that to you.  now i see that in order to become more, friends is a wonderful place to start - and keep coming back to.

thank you, nie, for showing me a better way to love.
thank you, rob, for loving me better than anyone ever has.
i'll always try to do the same for you...my friend. <3

love letters from a royal place

to my sweetheart - past, present and future,

i write this note from your mother's old bedroom; the room nana now affectionately calls "our room".  queens will always hold a special place in my heart because this is where you asked me to begin our life together. 

just three more wake ups to go until you get here...

today was an important day because i started physical therapy.  this long road we have been traveling is, in my mind at least, finally getting shorter.  the irony that my back pain started and will hopefully end here is not lost on me.  sometimes i think that's the big man upstairs' way of telling me to pay attention.  i always tell my students that repetition is important; sometimes i think i need to do a better job of taking my own advice. 

i miss you, your scent, and the cute way you giggle when you get ticklish, or you think something is "just a little" funny. 

love always,
your future wifey

p.s. remember our first anniversary?  i can't wait to do that again...picnic time will be here before you know it... <3